Happy Mother's Day

Does your mom suffer from Tanorexia?

No, that's not my mom. (Thank God.) If she's going for a black woman I would say she failed miserably. 2 Thumbs up if she's going for a Rustic Potato Chip.

Yuck. Grrross. If your mom suffers from Tanorexia she doesn't need flowers and chocolate, she needs you to slap the black off her (sorry, the "Tan" off her). What's even worse for this Tanorexic than pushing hard for a skin cancer death is that she brought her 5 year old daughter into the tanning booth with her. Yep, and we're not talking bronzer either. Her daughter went to school with "sunburns" and that's when child services got involved.

This lady is being blasted all over the country. Even Snooki takes a shot at her. The soon to be mom (of the year of course) says "Everyone knows you're not supposed to take kids there. [She's] Crazy." You would know, Snooks. You would know.

Happy Mother's Day

Some wise words to get your weekend going by Katt Williams

This guy just straight kills me, every thing he says is straight fire and is nothing but the truth.

Douchebags of the week

These dudes need to get there shit together and remember that they are men. First you never let someone sit on your lap in a jacuzzi unless it’s a girl. Second never I MEAN NEVER pretend to take a load in the face, especially when someone is taking a picture of it. By the looks of it, I dont think it was his first time either.......JUST SAYING!!!!!!

This is for all the ladies out there

Ladies let me introduce you to Magic Mike. Channing Tatum is back to his old tricks, dancing and giving females improper thoughts like no other man can in the world can. It’s about time I can’t take his dramatic roles anymore

Production Level

You want production?  Put one of these bad boys in the break room.  I do my best work when im buzzed.  If I become drunk on the other hand my boss can set his expectations as high as i set my standards before I black out ...Low

For Rent

I bet Jack could've used this in the Titanic.

First of all, that is prime real estate. Who couldn't use some land in the middle of open water?? I just hope the cellphone I happen to have but decide to use to call the realtor rather than for help stays dry enough to make a call.

Second of all, how much is rent??? I hope they have competitive rates. Supply and demand though, you've gotta imagine there aren't too many of these lifesavers floating around.

I can't read the number, but if anybody's got it, let's give this realtor a call to setup a "showing."

Your Monday just went from 6 to midnight

I have literally been addictedTo this Facebook page (I Like Girls Daily) for about 2 weeks now.  You see one of the girls and think its absolutely impossible to get a hotter one and sure as the sun rises the next girl 1 ups the last.  I don't know if these guys are getting paid but if they are I envy them.

Ps: Follow them on twitter you won't be dissapointed

@Ilikegirlsdaily

Can you spot the easy girl? Take 6

Like you didnt see this one coming

This is what happens when you mix white girls and alcohol. They try to pull of their best coyote ugly routine but wind up falling face first to the ground.

Idiot's On The T

I don't have to much to say on this one except if my child turns out like this I will pull a Chris Benoit and end that shit real quick.  There is no place on earth that attracts more weirdo's, drug addicts and dumb ass kids than the T.  Thanks to Mike M for the video

Marry, Fuck, Kill

  
                                                              This weeks contestants are:

                                     For the ladies, Chris Pine, Jonathan Meyers, Jeremy Renner

   

For the men, Jennifer Lawrence, Zooey Deschanel, Kirsten Dunst

Good Luck Getting Laid Now Bro...

This is classic, this dude thought he was being smooth trying to make his X girl friend feel bad and she pulls one of the greatest back fires of all time.  Now everyone knows you beat women and your 1 strike away from finding out what its like to be someones girl friend and get beat, PRISON STYLE!

-We are getting more and more funny pictures and posts from you TakeUrPick Blog viewers, so keep that shit up we appreciate it

Heart Attack Grill

What if these lovely ladies offered you a "double bypass burger?" Would you eat it?

Yes? No? Maybe? What if I told you that burger could possibly be 10,000 calories?

Yeah, legit. Sin City's famous restaurant The Heart Attack Grill boasts Nurses that serve you foods that may knock you out, and "doctors" that walk around to ensure that you're enjoying your feast. The other day a lady passed out after taking down one of their "double bypass burgers" and washing it down with a margarita and a cigarette. Bertha (I don't know her name let's just assume it's not cute) was then rushed to the hospital where she was revived and made a full recovery.

Bertha's the second such person to pass out at this Vegas eatery. The first guy actually had a heart attack back in February!!! Now I don't know about you, but I think this place has bouncers at the door that check your weight limit: Nobody under 300 lbs. I'm not eating a freaking heart attack. The nurses may be cute, but so is my health and my lack of a gut.

There are better attractions in Vegas, like Hooters and the strip clubs.

Fuck chocolate milk, Give me chicks in animal print

Kids these days are starting younger and younger. Ill tell you one thing though, if he was my kid i couldnt be any prouder.

Typical Tuesday

Tuesday after noon checklist:

-Win World of Warcraft tourney
-Fill out video game store application
-Pound one out to hot chicks fb profile pic from class
-Take Dick pick and send to gamer tag "SexySally" and hope shes really a girl...



*Quickest way to find out if a girls feeling you, just whip it out.  Live and die by the sword