FOOTLOOSE!

My theory is simple: “You can’t score if ur on the sidelines”. That’s why you better believe ur boy absolutely murders it on the dance floor each weekend. Some say the way you dance relates to sex. Well ladies if that’s the case, get ready for a beating cause this guy holds it down! I feel as though throughout the years like any athlete, my dancing skills got better with practice. In fact you could say I am as confident as ever on the dance floor maybe even a first ballot Hall of Famer. A week ago there I was giving lessons to strange women on the dance floor and a Brazilian girl approached me in her little black dress. Clearly I stiff armed the bucket of yuck I was entertaining and gave my full attention to this little bundle of joy. I quickly introduce myself like any gentleman would, except the first words out of her mouth were not her name. Her first words were, and I quote “Are you gay or something”? I was speechless; I was reminded of a Mike Tyson interview when one of his ex-wives was on 60 minutes bashing him. Tyson didn’t say a thing he just sat there quiet. He later stated “I couldn’t say anything, if I went crazy like I wanted to, you would have all thought I was a lunatic.” That was my approach. My silence lead her to explain herself as to why she asked such a random question. In her little Brazilian accent which without a doubt gave me a chubby, she said “I don’t usually see guys dance like that, so I assumed you were gay.” In 1 second my confidence went from an absolute low to an all-time high. I knew it! I knew these hips weren’t for these regular folk. They were made for women with some rhythm aka Team Brazil! The night ended with a little tongue wrestling and I got her number. She’s now added to the 2 am filth talk list. This brings me back to my original theory that “You can’t score if ur on the sidelines.” So gentlemen, even if ur just sub par at dancing, take a chance. You have nothing to lose and I'll guarantee you have a better shot if ur on the field instead of on the sidelines.


PS: I found an old video of me teaching my buddy and fellow TakeUrPick owner (J***s G*nd*rs*n) how to dance….