Who Is This Guy???



Who Is This Guy?

 We've all met him, unfortunately. You know, that guy...the random drunk guy at the bar that wants nothing more than to be ur best friend. You've never seen him before in ur life but he tries to hug you and cling to you like ur brothers. The whole time he's spraying his horrible alcohol breath in ur face ur head is on a swivel looking for his friends, a bouncer, anybody to come claim this bar's version of a homeless guy on a crowded MBTA bus. Basically you just want to be rid of him. You pretend to go to the bathroom and then resurface at what you think is a discrete location. He won't find you here, right?

Think again. Like Batman to Commissioner Gordon a shadowy figure emerges from behind a speaker and stumbles onto you almost knocking ur drink outta ur hand. That guy. That guy with a not quite half full but not quite half empty bottle of Bud Light. He takes sips but the amount seems to remain the same. The guy's a complete enigma. The more he lingers the more you start questioning ur popularity. Why me? Am I special? You could be with a group of people but somehow this guy wants to be YOUR friend. You get him a Bud Light and tell him "nice to meet you." Then you try another disappearing act.

You end up on the dance floor. DJ is on fire. Time to work the magic better than Harry Potter himself. This hottie from a circle of girls breaks from the pack and starts towards you. Checkmate. Time to get ur grind on. Before ur zipper seam meets the area between her back pockets you feel someone on ur back. Word. Her hot friend you assume. After a few seconds you turn around for the sandwich. (Cue the creepy music) "Sup, man!!" No, it can't be. That guy. That random drunk guy. Yes, holding a not quite half full, not quite half empty bottle of Bud Light. You almost break ur neck ur head is on such a serious swivel.

Seriously?? Who The Hell Is This Guy?????