Mondays

I am so tired of people on Facebook bitching. All week long you see these negative statuses. People don’t get it. No one gives a shit about ur shitty life. This is especially true on Mondays. Everyone bitches about Mondays; I myself call Mondays "Opportunities".

The first thing I do every Monday morning is log into Facebook to see any girls statuses from the weekend that say "White girl Wasted this weekend" or "Blacked out hard with my girls". I like to call these girls “Easy Targets” or “Whores”. I write these names down for the weekend just in case nothing good is going on. I sure as hell know these girls are going out and like Bobby Brown on a Tuesday morning (HARD).

The next most important Facebook update to keep an eye on for the week is relationship statuses. I look for any relationship changes: "Its complicated”, or “single”. I shouldn’t have to even explain myself on this update. We all know what girls have in mind the weekend after they pull the trigger on making it Facebook official. I can hear their annoying little friend’s voices now: “Don’t worry Stacey! This weekend we are going to black out so hard and meet so many new guys, Jake will be wishing he was a better boyfriend”.